Note:  I am standing at an undisclosed location holding a stick over a dead horse.  According TMZ celebuxxxoffspring, Montana Fishburne’s conversation with daddy did not go as planned.  So what exactly did she think he would say?  Here are some things that were swimming around in her head…Forget about America’s Got Talent, gurrrrl, you got talent!  You sho’ know how to drop it like its hot!  I am glad you chose the red pill, you chose wisely.  It’s ok baby, we all make mistakes.  Hell to tha no!!  Don’t talk to me again until you turn your life around, and yes this crap is major league embarrassing to him.   His daughter is giving brains and getting plowed on camera and he is supposed to laugh it off??  Really??  I  would cut her ass off as well.  Grow up assclown, you are ruining your life for foolishness.  Read

It is one thing to have a sextape leaked, it always happens totally by accident, it is another to be getting smashed out by some random guy for money.  That makes you a paid whore aka adult entertainer, feel free to insert, ha ha I said insert, any  euphemism of your choice.  Montana was his little baby that he changed and read to etc, and although I make no excuse for him being a perfect father, this hits a dad super hard when your daughter is hoarding nuts like a squirrel in the winter!  She has irreparably damaged their relationship with some, “I want to be famous bullshit!”  Like Kim Kardashian or not, she is not screwing random dudes on or off camera!  Evvvverryone in Hollywood knows Laurence, and the embarrassment and dealing with the whispers and hushed tones is probably devastating.  So to Montana I say “good job” if you actually wanted to get back at your dad and hurt him, mission accomplished.  Otherwise if your doing this because you feel as though you are not qualified for anything else then that is pure foolishness.  Where are the true friends of this girl??  If any of my boys would have posed this kind of career choice to me, we would at least have to talk about it for a minute, but that is just me.

What do you do with this? How do you classify it? WTF!!?? New York subway riders were treated to a exhibition from a man and his chicken. The man was captured on tape laying on the floor of a subway car completely entranced by his chicken’s breast. The best part is watching everyone get up and move away from him.

Whoa! Hold on, does anyone else think the whole tattooing phase has gone too far? Now, in an effort to be the only one in the world, a few prison inmates have taken to tattooing the whites of their eyes. One inmate has tattooed his eyes red, while the other blue. They claim that the procedure is extremely painful, so don’t try this at home.

I will never understand why people do this, it’s no different than playing Russian Roulette in my mind. As per usual, taunting and running after angry Bulls produces some injuries, but at this particular yearly event, a 35-year old man was killed after being gored and slammed to the ground by an angry Bull who got his agitator.

You might think this is a clip from a Will Ferrell Anchorman 2, but it’s not. While this anchor tells the tale of a horrific murder of a woman by the hands of her husband, the ‘news’ woman breaks into laughter that she cannot control.

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WTF!!?? Does this mean Facebook has officially “jumped the shark” or is it the way life is run nowadays? I’m going with Jumped The Shark. It’s funny, but ridiculous at the same time.

Imagine if you can, Detective Fache greets Robert Langdon with a Large fries in his left hand, and a firm “shake” with his right. The nervous Langdon smelling the freshly deep fried potatoes asks, Where did you get that? The greasy fingered detective replies; Down in the food court under the pyramid, I had McDonald’s open late, murder makes me hungry. Do you like the pyramid….Mr. Langdon?

That would have sucked right? Right! But low and behold, inside the walls of art and culture lays another mystery that is sure to rock the art world at it’s very foundation. They are opening a McDonald’s in the Louvre. Fine art and a Big Mac, or “Royal with cheese.” In one month, the home of the Mona Lisa will be transformed into just another place to grab a artery killing cheap meal. This is truly sad. Product placement, pyramids, fun books turned into crappy movies. How much more can the Louvre take? How much more can culture take? How many friggin McDonald’s does there need to be on this planet before mother earth, or her inhabitants say, ENOUGH!!

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You thought you had seen everything didn’t you? No, no you haven’t. Have a look at the 8-Pole Dancer USB desktop doll. It gyrates while you feed it bits of information. Just what you needed to help convince your new girlfriend that you’re not a complete sexist, chauvinistic horn dog. Go ahead, make mama proud and pony up £29.95 ($53). Sure, you’ll lose a girlfriend, but think of all the sweaty respect you’ll get from your deprived friends.

BoysStuff via Gizmodo

I think all the chemicals in McDonald’s food is finally having an effect. There are the two separate 911 calls because orders were incorrect. The grown man who punched out a teenaged girl while waiting in line, and a few other Mickey D stories that I’m leaving out. But this man be the best one yet.

A Denver police officer felt like his order was taking far too long, so he pulled out his weapon on the McDonalds staff.

Sources familiar with the case, and the fast food worker’s account of what happened, say two off-duty Denver police officers placed an order from their car in the early morning hours of May 21. But once at the drive through window, the employee said the men became agitated and angry at how long their food was taking. The men thought they were being ignored, according to contacts familiar with the worker’s account. The male clerk then said one of the officer’s flashed his police badge and pointed a pistol through the drive through window in a threatening manner, before driving off without paying. CBS4

Seriously people, McDonald’s is dangerous.

Here’s a guy who has obviously never heard of resell or charity, keepsake or sanity. Someone going by the moniker ‘John’ went out and spent way too much money on the very first incarnation of the iPhone, the iPhone 1st generation. Only to be faced by the iPhone 3G, the second installment for hundreds less, with the added insult to injury by the Palm Pre and the brand new WebOS. Not learning even half a lesson, he went out and picked up the brand new Palm Pre and immediately took out his iPhone 1stG frustration on the old device, smashing it with a hammer.

This isn’t cute. It’s not even web quirky fun. Nope, it’s down right infuriating to see someone do this to a device that could have gone to good use somewhere else. Sure, it’s his and he can do with it as he sees fit, but, smash it? Really?

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When the trend started with boxers getting into the ring with advertisements written on their back I thought, “yep, that’s it, the end of boxing.” Then one day I turned on my computer and low and behold, there’s a guy with the Zune logo tattooed on his shoulder. A tattoo of a company product, and not a very good one at that. Well Zune guy didn’t like what we had to say about it, so this guy wont be a fan either.

Somehow “Lou” here didn’t learn from Zune Guys colossal mistake. In order to win a free Pre, Lou tattooed the device onto his shoulder. Now Lou will have to walk around with a product, a freakin consumer product that will look different inside of 10 months when the Pre 2 is announced. Lou won the Pre but he lost so, so much more.

Head on over to PreCentral to see the video of Lou getting his Pre Tatt.

American Airlines Flight 1343 from Charlotte saw something very strange as it landed and taxied toward the tarmac.   A 26-year-old passenger jumped from his seat, ran to the front of the plane, opened the doors and slid down the slide (inflated automatically) and was caught by airport security in Dallas.  Prior to the mans daring escape there were no incidents on the flight.

I know we’ve all wanted to do this from time to time, but people, please remain seated until the flight comes to a complete stop and the Captain has turned off the Fasten Your Seatbelt sign.

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The mayor of Los Alamitos California, Dean Grose, said he was unaware of the racial stereotype that black people like watermelons.  This after sending the pic above in an email to a Black woman with the subject being ”No Easter egg hunt this year.”  If he didn’t know it was a stereotype then why send a pic of watermelons while the first Black president sits in the White House?

“I have had plenty of my share of chicken and watermelon and all those kinds of jokes,” Price told The Associated Press. “I honestly don’t even understand where he was coming from, sending this to me. As a black person receiving something like this from the city-freakin’-mayor – come on.”

This is one of those not elected by the people mayors.  He was appointed by a five seat council in December 08.

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Breast meat being the more expensive meat no doubt suffers in a failing economy, but no matter what, Breast will always bring in the bucks.  Hooters knows this all too well with its sales of $997 million in 2008.  The tightly packed orange covered waitress’s have kept the buffalo wings in full swing no matter what the economy is doing.  So it should come as no surprise that others with enough capitol and and a man’s wants and desires, would join in on the cleavage pushing fatty food dispensing Coke and a smile restaurant industry. 

Twin Peaks and Bone Daddy’s (nice names) are two new competitors on the “to Breast you better” dining scene.  On a a failed Ruby Tuesday site in Bedford, TX, Twin Peaks is poised and perked to take on the Hooters chain that owns Texas.  

“I don’t think it’s a big secret” that men — typically 21 to 58 years old, in Twin Peaks’ case — will flock to such places, said, Pat Moreo, chairman of the food and beverage management department at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas’ Harrah Hotel College. “They just had the chutzpah to do it.”

There aren’t that many Hooters in sunny Southern California where the bad economy is really beginning to take its toll.  But I find it odd that there is an entire job market out there ready to bust out and thrive, that serves men, but does not employ them.  Of course aesthetically that’s all fine and well, but in some parts of the country, with layoffs continuing the way they are, we could see a dynamic shift in households between husbands and wives.  Of course, the wife better be thin and stacked.

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When things get silly, they get really silly.  But I guess it’s no more sillier than walking around proudly with someone else’s name on your shirt or pants, or a baseball cap with a favorite team prominently shown across the forehead.  

If you can do that then you can catch some zzz’s resting your head on your favorite OS throw pillows.  The pillows are now available for $30 apiece or $150 for the entire set.  Go ahead, you know you want to cuddle up with the Finder.   

Interested?  Grab them here

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“I look ridiculous” That’s what all three of these models for the new hands free device “Cell Mate” are thinking.  You have to applaud anyone for taking the time to come up with a new product.  It takes time, money and some amount of ingenuity.  But it also takes a bite of understanding of what the people want.  I really don’t think people want to walk around looking like there talking to the NASA base station.

And who gave this woman a license?  She can’t even see over the steering wheel.

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Hey fellas, the next time you want to watch some scantly clad singer pumping the bumps in the hump, and your girlfriend wants to watch Brad Pitt get all sensitive, make sure you’re a good distance from any sharp objects.  

Brittney Love Venton of St. Paul put her man down with a blade over an argument they were having over the remote control.  One wanted to watch a movie and the other a video.  She wasn’t havin’ it, she wanted what she wanted and he had his man hands on the remote, so she stabbed him in the gut.  

He’s now in the hospital in stable condition and she’s in jail facing $50,000 in bail and a second degree assault charge.  

It’s not just TV, it could have been HBO.

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“Don’t drink out of the…” Oh well, in this case it’s OK.

Actually this cute ceramic pet water bowl would make a perfect gift for the in-laws pet you ‘love’ so much!

It’s easy to use: Just place a filled, 2-liter plastic bottle (not included) into the “tank” and watch as gravity forces fresh water into the “bowl.”

I have fond memories of writing a letter with my mummy once a year and sending it up the chimney for Father Christmas (Santa). But what with snail mail being a thing of the past, how are generations to come going to be writing a list to Santa?

Will they e-mail a list? I did a quick search and there pages of sites!! Here’s one of the 61,200,000: link

Kids can even phone Santa:

“LIVE personalized phone call from Santa Claus, a truly believable experience that turns even the skeptics into believers”

Wait for it, they can text Santa too!

“Send a Text Message to Santa Himself! He’ll get it directly on his cell phone.”

Sooo many options these days……..  personally i think it takes the fun out of it, and how the hell are you, the parents, supposed to find out what ‘Santa’s’ getting junior this year if you don’t share some quality time with them

Some insider tells Life & Style magazine that BRITNEY SPEARS will be lighting the Christmas tree at New York’s Rockefeller Center on December 3rd. “Details of her appearance are still being finalized, but she’s confirmed to appear,” the insider says. “She will be there.” NOOOOOOOOOO!

First a guest appearance singing at a Madonna concert in LA, now lighting the famed Christmas Tree in New York City! What’s next? Singing the half-time show at the Superbowl! Shit, did I just put that out there in the universe. God, please don’t let that come true. Please don’t ruin all that is holy in this wonderful American past time that is football!

Crazy ole Madonna and her guy jumping seems to have made her ready for battle in the streets.  Now she’s walking around with guns on her shoes.  The shoes are from the Chanel Spring 2009 Cruise Collection and will be selling for $2,200.  Yeah, ridiculous. 

I don’t want to step on all the hard work that went into creating this gas powered Huffy, nut I thought the whole idea of the 21st century was to move everything towards Green Power?  This Huffy has been modified to run on gas at top speeds of 40 MPH.  It gets 125 mpg which is pretty good by any standard, but then again, we’re talking about a bike, not even a slightly heavier moped. 

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A Canadian university conducted a survey of 7 women and concluded that 43% of women prefer Mac over PC.  Oooookay??  All right, I’ll bite, what’s the joke, where’s the punch line?  There is none, this is real.  But, if you’ve ever been to an Apple store, or paid attention in a coffee shop, the study does have some merit.

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